Restraining Orders: What You Need to Know

Dealing with a difficult or dangerous person in your life? A restraining order may help provide protection. Restraining orders, also called protective orders, are legal orders issued by a judge that restrict or prohibit contact between two people. Getting a restraining order can be confusing, but this guide will walk you through the basics.

What Exactly is a Restraining Order?

A restraining order is a court order that prohibits someone from contacting you, being near you, or harassing you. It orders them to stay away. Restraining orders provide legal protection if the other person violates the order and tries to come near or contact you.

There are different types of restraining orders, with different requirements and protections. The main ones are:

• Domestic violence restraining order – for people in close relationships like spouses, family members, or people you’ve lived with. This can order things like move-out orders, child custody, and more.
• Civil harassment restraining order – for harassment by someone like a neighbor, classmate, or co-worker.
• Elder or dependent adult abuse restraining order – for abuse of older adults or adults with disabilities.
• Workplace violence restraining order – for violence or threats at work.

The process for getting each type is a little different. But in general, restraining orders command the restrained person to stop harming, threatening, stalking, or harassing you. They must stay a certain distance away, like 100 yards. Restraining orders can also do things like determine child custody or require the restrained person to move out.

Do You Qualify for a Restraining Order?

To get a restraining order, you’ll need to show the court that you experienced abuse, threats, harassment, or violence from the other person. Requirements vary by state, but you’ll generally need evidence like:

• Threatening or harassing texts, emails, voicemails
• Witness statements
• Photos of injuries or damage to property
• Police reports if you’ve reported incidents

The abuse or harassment has to meet certain standards too. For a domestic violence restraining order, you need a close relationship with the abuser – like a spouse, family member, or roommate. For a civil harassment order, the harassment has to be repeated, intentional, and make you reasonably afraid for your safety.

If you’ve experienced stalking, physical abuse, threats, or harassment, a restraining order may be an option. Speak to a lawyer to understand if you qualify in your situation.

How to Get a Restraining Order

The process for getting a restraining order varies a bit by state, but generally involves:

1. Filing a Petition – You start by completing court forms detailing the facts of your situation. Forms ask for information like what happened, when, evidence you have, and the relief you’re requesting.
2. Temporary Restraining Order – The judge reviews your petition and may issue a temporary order effective right away if they see an immediate threat. This starts protections while the full order is pending.
3. Court Hearing – Within a few weeks, a hearing is held where you’ll explain your situation to the judge. The restrained person can attend and share their side too.
4. Permanent Restraining Order – If the judge agrees you need protection, they issue a permanent order lasting typically 1-5 years. They may also order things like move-outs, custody, or counseling.

While the process differs by location, getting a restraining order always involves filing detailed paperwork, appearing at court hearings, and presenting evidence. Having an attorney can help navigate the specifics for your situation and location.

What Does a Restraining Order Do?

Restraining orders can prohibit the restrained person from:

• Contacting you at all, directly or indirectly
• Being within a certain distance of your home, work, school, or other places
• Owning or buying firearms
• Posting about you online or sharing private photos
• Harassing, threatening, stalking, or physically abusing you

Orders may also determine custody and visitation if you have children together. In domestic violence cases, the abuser may be ordered to immediately move out of a shared home.

Every order is customized to an individual’s situation.

If the restrained person violates the order, you should call the police immediately. Violating a restraining order is a crime that can result in fines or jail time. The order itself does not guarantee safety, but it does provide legal recourse if violations occur.

Restraining Order vs Peace Bond

In some regions, like Canada, you may also be able to get a peace bond instead of a restraining order. What’s the difference?

A peace bond is like a restraining order-lite. The person agrees to keep the peace and be on good behavior for a period of time. But evidence of prior violence or threats isn’t required. Peace bonds offer less protection overall, but are easier to obtain.

With a restraining order, the person’s contact is completely prohibited. Strong evidence is needed to get an order imposed against someone’s will. Restraining orders offer more definitive protection, but involve a more rigorous court process.

Weighing whether to pursue a peace bond or restraining order depends on your specific situation. Speaking with a lawyer or victims advocate can help make the right decision.

How Much Does a Restraining Order Cost?

Costs for getting a restraining order can range from $0 to $300+, depending on your jurisdiction. Many courts waive filing fees if you cannot afford them. There may also be costs for things like:

• Serving notice to the restrained person
• Certified copies of the order
• Lawyer fees, if you hire one

Check with your local court or legal aid society about costs. Advocates may also be able to assist with fee waivers or help finding pro bono lawyers. Don’t let potential costs deter you from seeking help – many options exist if money is tight.

How to Enforce Your Restraining Order

A restraining order provides legal protection, but not physical protection per se. If the restrained person violates the order, here are important steps to take:

• Call 911 immediately if you feel unsafe or threatened. Police can arrest for violations.
• Consider filing contempt of court charges. Work with your lawyer or court clerk on this.
• Document every violation with things like security footage, voicemails, witness accounts.
• File police reports for any violations. This creates a paper trail.
• Tell your family, friends, neighbors, workplace about the order and who to look out for.
• Stay vigilant and maintain personal safety precautions.

While restraining orders carry legal penalties, they ultimately rely on you taking action if violations occur. Don’t hesitate to call on law enforcement and legal resources to enforce the order.

Restraining Order Myths and Facts

Some common myths about restraining orders – let’s set the record straight:

Myth: Restraining orders aren’t that helpful.

Fact: Orders carry legal penalties if violated. While not foolproof, they do provide recourse.

Myth: The process takes forever.

Fact: Temporary orders can be issued in days, while permanent ones take weeks.

Myth: The abuser has to be notified.

Fact: Only after the order is issued. Notice is then served by law enforcement.

Myth: I need hard evidence like pictures.

Fact: Eyewitness accounts and documentation help, but victim testimony is evidence.

Myth: I shouldn’t bother if threats weren’t physical.

Fact: You have legal recourse against emotional abuse too.

Myth: They’re impossible to get.

Fact: Courts grant orders every day. Focus on showing reasonable fear.

Know the facts and don’t let misconceptions deter you from seeking a restraining order if you need protection.

Safety Planning When Ending a Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship can be extremely dangerous. Take precautions like:

• Having an escape bag ready with things like cash, keys, documents.
• Arranging a safe place to stay that the abuser doesn’t know about.
• Changing passwords and locks. Shutting off shared accounts.
• Avoiding places the abuser can easily find you.
• Not meeting the abuser alone or trying to reason with them.
• Calling on law enforcement to stand by while moving out.
• Enlisting friends or family to help watch your back.
• Reviewing safety plans for work, school, kids’ activities, and going out alone.

Leaving is when the risk of violence increases – even with a restraining order. Make an advance safety plan and use caution.

Restraining Order Alternatives

Restraining orders aren’t the only option. Other legal protections include:

• No Contact Orders – Ordered as part of a criminal case if the accused is found guilty and sentenced.
• Anti-Stalking Laws – Make stalking a crime so police can intervene and courts can order protections.
• Protection from Abuse Orders – Offer fast emergency protection from abuse until a court hearing.
• Workplace Restraining Orders – For dealing with violence, harassment, and threats at work.
• Campus No Contact Orders – Help students who experience dating violence or stalking by classmates.

Consult a lawyer or victims advocate to understand your options. There are many legal tools beyond just restraining orders.

The Takeaway

Here are key points to remember about restraining orders:

• They prohibit contact and provide legal protection if violated.
• You need evidence of reasonable fear of physical harm.
• The process involves detailed paperwork and court hearings.
• Speak to a lawyer to understand your options and local laws.
• Safety plan when leaving any abusive situation.
• Enforce the order and report violations immediately.
• Explore alternatives like no contact or anti-stalking orders too.

Restraining orders can be powerful tools – but navigating the legal system is complex. Always seek expert support to understand your rights and options. Stay safe out there.