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My Child is Being Blackmailed at School: What Should I Do?
My Child is Being Blackmailed at School: What Should I Do?
Finding out your child is being blackmailed at school can be scary and overwhelming for any parent. As a parent your first instinct is to protect your child, but you also need to handle the situation carefully and legally. Here is some advice on steps you can take if your child tells you they are being blackmailed.
1. Stay Calm and Listen
When your child comes to you saying they are being blackmailed, it’s understandable to feel angry, upset or want to take control. However, the most important first step is to stay calm, listen compassionately and let your child explain the situation fully. Don’t interrupt them or get visibly angry as this could prevent them sharing important details or make them shut down out of fear or embarrassment.
Ask clarifying questions gently and don’t judge them for any role they may have played. Understanding exactly what is happening and what the blackmailer is threatening to do if demands aren’t met is crucial information you need to determine next steps.
2. Offer Reassurance and Support
Being blackmailed can make a child feel scared, ashamed and powerless. Offer lots of emotional support and reassure them that you are there for them and will get through this together. Tell them that they did the right thing by telling you, and it’s not their fault.
Many child victims feel responsible or to blame for the situation. Ensure you communicate clearly that the blackmail is completely the perpetrators wrongdoing. Your child is the victim in this crime.
3. Don’t Pay the Blackmailer
A common demand blackmailers make is for money in exchange for not releasing embarrassing or reputation damaging information about the victim. No matter how tempting it may be to just pay and make the problem go away, you should never give in to financial blackmail demands.
Paying does not guarantee the demands will stop there – blackmailers often see it as an invitation to keep asking for more. It also communicates to them that their criminal tactics are working. Most importantly, giving money sets the example for your child that blackmail is an effective way to get what you want from others.
4. Collect Evidence
Before you take any further steps, collect and document any evidence of the blackmail available. This includes screenshots of text messages, emails, social media communications and photos/videos. Also write down details of any phone calls, in-person conversations and physical letters.
This evidence will be important for reporting the crime to authorities and helping them in investigating and prosecuting the perpetrator. Having it documented also means your child won’t have to recount painful details over and over.
5. Report it to Police
Blackmail is a crime, so an essential next step is to report what is happening to the police. They have resources and legal powers to compel internet/phone companies to release information that could identify the perpetrator.
If the blackmailer attends your child’s school, also notify the principal about what is occurring. They have a duty of care to provide a safe learning environment and should take disciplinary action against student offenders. Having the school administration aware of the situation also means they can offer support services to your child.
6. Seek Legal Representation
A lawyer experienced in cyber crime, fraud and internet law can provide expert guidance at this time. They will know exactly what evidence is needed for police reports, and legal options available depending on factors in your specific case.
If reputational damage occurs or mental trauma results from the blackmail, a lawyer can also help you pursue civil lawsuits for defamation, intentional infliction of emotional distress and other causes of action.
7. Get Counseling Support
Being the victim of a crime like blackmail can negatively impact a child’s mental health and self-esteem. Feelings of shame, guilt, fear and powerlessness are common. Seeking counseling helps them process these emotions in a healthy way.
Look for child psychologists or counselors specializing in issues like trauma, abuse, bullying, anxiety and self-esteem. Having professional support mitigates the risk of longer term mental health issues developing.
8. Teach Them How to Respond
Once the immediate blackmailing threat is addressed, take time to educate your child on what to do if a similar situation arises again. Cyber bullying and online threats are an unfortunate reality kids need to be equipped to handle.
Teach them to never respond or engage with demands, but instead to immediately block, report and tell a trusted adult. Building their confidence and sense of self-worth also makes them less vulnerable to manipulation from others.
9. Monitor Online Activity
Tools are available to legally monitor your child’s phone calls, text messages, social media interactions and web browsing activity. Installing these can give you visibility over any future cyber bullying or blackmail attempts.
While children are entitled to some privacy, as a parent you also have a duty to protect them from harm. Make sure to discuss any monitoring with them transparently, and that it comes from a place of love not punishment.
10. Work With Their School
If the blackmailer attends the same school, work closely with administrators on next steps. They may need to arrange class schedule changes, issue no-contact directives or take disciplinary action like suspension or expulsion.
Ask what cyber bullying education and training is given to students. Encourage them to bring in experts to speak to students about legal risks, trauma impacts and the psychological damage caused.
Schools want to protect their duty of care and reputation too. Work collaboratively with them, not punitively. Each plays a role in preventing this happening to other students.
In Summary
Discovering your child is being blackmailed can elicit strong emotions of anger, fear and helplessness. But taking swift, supportive and strategic action gives them the best chance of emerging from the situation positively.
Don’t pay demands, help them preserve evidence and involve the relevant authorities. Seeking legal and therapeutic support also empowers your child to process what is happening in a healthy way.
With compassion, vigilance and the right professional help, you can guide your child through the blackmail ordeal safely to the other side.