I’m a Victim of Sextortion: What Are My Options?

I’m a Victim of Sextortion: What Are My Options?

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve found yourself in an incredibly scary situation. You shared intimate photos or videos with someone, and now they’re threatening to share them publicly if you don’t pay up. First off, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But the good news is, you have options and there are steps you can take to protect yourself.

Sextortion, or the threat to release intimate images in order to extort money or other actions from a victim, is a crime. But many victims feel ashamed and don’t know where to turn. Here’s my advice, from both a legal and emotional perspective.

You Are Not Alone

The first thing I want you to know is that you’re not alone. Sextortion is way more common than you’d think – a 2016 study found that 1 in 25 online adults had either experienced sextortion themselves or knew someone who had. And the vast majority of victims are young women. So while it feels deeply personal and embarrassing, countless others are going through or have gone through the same thing. There’s no shame in being manipulated – the shame lies with your exploiter, not with you.

Don’t Panic – Take a Breath

It’s totally normal to feel terrified and anxious when being threatened like this. Your heart’s probably racing a mile a minute. But before doing anything else, take a few deep breaths to clear your mind. Responding from a place of fear rarely leads to good decisions. Do your best to calm down before assessing your options.

It can also help to confide in someone you trust, whether it’s a close friend or family member. Having support through this process is so important. If you don’t feel comfortable telling people in your personal life, there are anonymous crisis resources you can access as well.

Do Not Pay the Extortion Money

Once you’ve had a chance to breathe, you need to make a choice – pay the extortion money being demanded, or refuse. It may sound counterintuitive, but experts strongly recommend that victims do not pay up. Here’s why:

• Paying does not guarantee the images won’t be released. You’re just rewarding criminal behavior and encouraging the extortionist to come back and demand more money.
• Paying puts you at great risk for further exploitation down the road.
• It’s unlikely the extortionists will actually follow through on their threats, as releasing the images results in loss of leverage.

I know ignoring threats to share intimate media must sound terrifying. But in many cases, the threats are just that – threats designed to manipulate you, with no intention follow-through. The FBI estimates that in 5-15% of sextortion cases involving youth, images actually end up being disseminated.

Paying up also makes the problem worse – it shows extortionists that their tactics work, and encourages them to continue harming others. So as difficult as it is, refusing to pay is recommended by experts including the FBI.

Collect Evidence

Before you block the extortionist, make sure to document as much evidence as possible, including:

• Screenshotting threatening messages and images sent to you
• The usernames, profiles, phone numbers, or email addresses used to contact you
• Any transaction or account information if money was requested
• Logs of the images or posts if they were already released online

This evidence will be essential if you decide to get law enforcement involved. Make copies and store it in a safe, secure place.

Report the Crime

If you feel comfortable doing so, you should absolutely report the sextortion attempt to the police. Sextortion is a crime, and reporting can help prevent others from being victimized.

You can file a report with your local law enforcement or the FBI’s Crimes Against Children unit. The FBI takes these threats seriously, working with local authorities to investigate and prosecute cases.

What happens when you file a report? The police will interview you to get all the details, then start investigating. With the evidence you collected, they can subpoena tech companies to trace the extortionist’s digital footprint. If identified and arrested, the criminal faces serious charges like cyberstalking, extortion, and child pornography distribution.

However, keep in mind that the investigation process takes time. And the extortionist may not be identifiable or even located in the U.S. So while reporting is important, it may not resolve the situation quickly.

Get Legal Help

Consulting an attorney can help protect you during this process. An experienced lawyer can advise you on laws in your state, pursue legal action if needed, and walk you through what to expect if the case goes to trial. They can also interface with law enforcement on your behalf.

Some laws that may apply in sextortion cases include:

• Child pornography laws – Images of minors are automatically considered child porn, even if they’re self-taken.
• Revenge porn laws – Posting explicit images without consent is illegal in most states.
• Extortion/blackmail laws – Demanding money by threatening reputation harm is a form of extortion.
• Stalking/harassment laws – Repeated unwanted contact to incite fear can constitute stalking.

An attorney can advise if charges like child pornography, stalking or extortion may apply. They can also explain possible defenses if your images do get released.

Consider Contacting Websites

If intimate images or videos of you are posted online, you can request that websites remove them under their policies against nonconsensual intimate media, sometimes called “revenge porn.”

For example, Facebook prohibits unauthorized intimate images and says it will “remove the content, disable the account, and work with law enforcement when necessary.” Twitter also bans “the sharing of non-consensual nudity.”

Look up the policies of any sites where your images appear, then file takedown notices with links to the content. While not immediate, reputable companies will generally comply with valid requests under their policies.

Practice Self-Care

This entire process is emotionally draining, so be gentle with yourself throughout it. Take time for self-care like getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and doing activities you enjoy. Confide in trusted friends about what you’re going through. Seek professional counseling if you need support. And know that what happened does not define you or your worth.

You have so much more to offer this world than one mistake or moment of manipulation. Don’t let this experience take that away from you. With time, it will get better – and you have the power to take steps now to protect yourself and move forward.

Sextortion is a frightening form of exploitation. But there are people, resources and laws in place to help victims and hold criminals accountable. So reach out for help, stand your ground, and know you have every right to live free from abuse and shame.

References

FBI public service announcement on sextortion. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/stop-sextortion-youth-face-risk-online-090319

FBI Crimes Against Children webpage. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.fbi.gov/investigate/violent-crime/cac

Overview of state laws on revenge porn and nonconsensual image sharing. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.cybercivilrights.org/revenge-porn-laws/