Common Myths About Domestic Violence Cases: Long Island Lawyer Debunks

Common Myths About Domestic Violence Cases: Long Island Lawyer Debunks

Domestic violence is, like, a really heavy topic, you know? And there’s a lot of misunderstandings out there about how these cases work. As a Long Island lawyer who’s dealt with tons of domestic violence situations, I wanted to clear some things up and give you the real deal.

Myth #1: It’s Just a He-Said-She-Said Situation

A lot of people think that domestic violence cases pretty much come down to one person’s word against the other’s. But that’s just not true, man. There’s usually a lot more evidence involved than just testimony:

• Physical evidence like injuries, damaged property, etc.
• Witness statements from neighbors, friends, or family members
• Past reports of domestic incidents
• Digital evidence like texts, emails, or recordings

So don’t buy into that “he-said-she-said” myth. These cases are built on way more than just the accusation itself.

Myth #2: If You Stay, It Must Not Be That Bad

Oof, this one gets me heated. There’s this messed up idea that if someone stays in an abusive relationship, the abuse can’t be that serious. But survivors on Reddit will tell you, it’s way more complicated than that.

Leaving an abusive situation can be incredibly difficult for a ton of reasons – financial dependence, fear of escalating violence, the trauma bond… The list goes on. Domestic violence is about power and control, not just physical abuse. So please, don’t judge someone’s situation by whether they’ve left yet.

Myth #3: Only Certain Types of People Experience Domestic Violence

Another toxic myth is that domestic violence only happens in certain communities or to certain “types” of people. That’s just flat-out wrong. Domestic abuse cuts across all socioeconomic, racial, gender, and cultural lines.

Whether you’re rich or poor, Black or white, straight or LGBTQ+, the statistics show that no demographic is immune. Believing this myth can prevent people from getting the help and support they need.

A Table Showing Domestic Violence Statistics Across Demographics:

As you can see, domestic violence impacts all kinds of people. It’s an issue that cuts across all boundaries.

Myth #4: If You Fight Back, You’re Equally At Fault

Let me stop you right there – acting in legitimate self-defense is not the same as being an abuser yourself. If someone is attacking you and you fight back to protect yourself, that’s not domestic violence on your part.

Now, that said, the self-defense laws in New York are pretty strict. You can only use force if you reasonably believed you were in danger of serious physical injury or death. And you can’t fight back with excessive force beyond what was needed to protect yourself.

But the key point is, if you were truly acting in self-defense and not retaliating later on, that’s not considered domestic violence under the law. Don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

Myth #5: Anger Management Classes Will Fix Everything

I see this one a lot – the idea that if an abuser just takes an anger management class, the domestic violence will stop. But y’all, it’s just not that simple.

Don’t get me wrong, anger management programs can be part of the solution in some cases. But domestic violence is a pattern of coercive control, not just a lack of anger management skills.

The abuser needs to take full accountability, get real counseling, and make deep, lasting changes to how they think and act. An anger management class alone isn’t gonna cut it.

Resources for Domestic Violence Survivors and Supporters:

• Hotlines:
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  • National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
• Online Resources:
  • The Hotline – Get help, information, and support
  • WomensLaw.org – Legal information and resources by state
  • FindLaw Domestic Violence Resources
• Videos:
  • What is Domestic Violence? (YouTube)
  • Domestic Violence: A Pattern of Control (YouTube)
• Additional Reading:
  • Domestic Violence (Wikipedia)
  • Domestic Violence Overview (VeryWellMind)
  • The Hotline Resources

The Bottom Line? Don’t Believe the Hype

At the end of the day, there’s a lot of misinformation and harmful myths out there about domestic violence. As a Long Island lawyer who’s worked with tons of these cases, I can tell you – don’t buy into those toxic narratives.

Domestic violence is a serious issue that impacts people from all walks of life. It’s not just a “he-said-she-said” thing, and it’s definitely not the victim’s fault for staying. Anger management alone won’t fix an abuser, and fighting back in self-defense doesn’t make you equally guilty.

The most important thing is believing survivors, providing resources and support, and holding abusers accountable through the legal system. Don’t let these harmful myths prevent justice or discourage people from getting the help they need.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please reach out for support. You’ve got this, and there are people ready to help – no judgment, just care and resources to get you to safety.