How to Recover from a Sextortion Attack

How to Recover from a Sextortion Attack

Being the victim of a sextortion attack can be scary and overwhelming. But there are steps you can take to protect yourself and start recovering, even if it feels hopeless. With the right help and support, you can get your life back on track.

What is Sextortion?

Sextortion is a form of online blackmail. A criminal threatens to share intimate images of you online or with your family/friends unless you pay them money or provide more images. It often starts with the criminal catfishing you by pretending to be someone else online to gain your trust. Once they have compromising images, they threaten you to get what they want.

You are not alone. Sextortion has become more common with more people meeting online. And it can happen to anyone – the criminals use manipulation tactics to get private material from their victims. What happened is not your fault.

Immediate Steps

If you are currently the target of a sextortion attack, here are some important first steps:

• Stop all communication with the criminal. Block them on all platforms you connected with them.
• Do not delete any of your correspondence with them – it can be used as evidence.
• Contact the police. Sextortion is a crime and they can help you.
• Tell someone you trust. Talk to a friend, family member, counselor, etc. Don’t go through this alone.
• Secure accounts. Change passwords and security questions for any compromised accounts.

As hard as it is, try not to panic or act rashly. That’s what the criminal wants. Take a breath and know there are people who can help.

Should I Pay?

You may feel tempted to just pay the money and hope the problem goes away. But this is not recommended for several reasons:

• Paying does not guarantee they’ll stop. Often they will keep demanding more money.
• It encourages them to target others if they see it as profitable.
• They still have the images and could still share them.

Instead, go to the authorities. They have resources to investigate these crimes that ordinary people don’t.

Get Law Enforcement Involved

Sextortion is a crime. Do not be afraid or ashamed to report it. The sooner you involve the authorities, the better.

Contact your local police or the FBI. Share the sextortioner’s account names, screenshots of messages, and any other evidence you have. Depending on their threats, it may qualify as stalking, extortion, or identity theft. There are laws prohibiting all of these.

Law enforcement can potentially track down the criminal by subpoenaing account records from platforms they used. Each case is different, but prosecutions for sextortion are happening more often.

If the sextortioner is overseas, the FBI has resources to work with international agencies. Don’t assume that because someone is in another country that they can’t be caught. The authorities have experience finding these criminals.

Remove Online Content

If the sextortioner does follow through on threats and posts intimate images of you online, here are steps to try getting them removed:

• File a complaint with the website or platform where they are posted. Most have policies against nonconsensual intimate imagery.
• Use takedown services like CCRI that help get unwanted content removed.
• Search for and flag copies of the images so they are not spread further. Use services like DigiRevenuerecovery.
• If content is posted without your consent, it may be copyright infringement. Send DMCA takedown notices.

Unfortunately, once images are online, removing them fully is difficult. But taking these steps can help minimize their spread. And it creates a record showing you did not consent.

Prevent Further Harm

In addition to removing current online content, you can take steps to prevent further harm:

• Google your name and search for the images. Flag anything you find.
• Make social media accounts private or deactivate them.
• Use tools like Google Alerts to monitor name mentions.
• Consider legally changing your name if needed.

This can help minimize the damage if the criminal follows through with wider sharing. The goal is making it harder for them to spread content without your consent.

Consider Legal Action

In addition to reporting sextortion to law enforcement, consider civil legal action:

• Consult a lawyer about possible charges like defamation, stalking, or harassment.
• Send cease & desist letters demanding they stop their illegal activity.
• File lawsuits and seek damages if the harm is severe.

Even if you don’t want to go through a full trial, legal threats can be effective. They show the attacker you are serious about pursuing action against them.

Seek Counseling Support

Sextortion can take a severe emotional toll. Please seek help from mental health professionals to recover.

Consider contacting a therapist, counselor, psychologist, or local victim services agency. Many specialize in helping victims of online crimes like sextortion.

You may feel ashamed, violated, or traumatized. But you are not to blame. Talking through these feelings with a professional can help you heal. Having support makes recovery possible.

Practice Self-Care

Make sure to take care of yourself as you recover:

• Spend time with loved ones who support you.
• Join a support group to know you aren’t alone.
• Do relaxing activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies.
• Avoid negative coping mechanisms like overeating, drugs, etc.
• Get enough sleep, nutrition, and physical activity.

When you’ve been victimized, taking care of your needs has to be the priority. Don’t isolate yourself. Lean on people who care about you.

Forgive Yourself

Many sextortion victims feel guilt or shame about being manipulated. But you are not to blame for someone else’s cruelty.

Forgive yourself. Don’t criticize yourself for trusting someone or being deceived. The criminal took advantage of normal human emotions.

Focus on healing and building back your confidence. Don’t let the sextortioner continue to hurt you through self-blame. You deserve to feel safe and happy again.

Educate Yourself & Others

Learning more about sextortion can help you avoid being targeted again. And educating others protects them.

Look for resources from reputable sources. Share them with friends and family, especially teens and young adults who are common targets.

The more we talk openly about this crime, the fewer victims there will be. Break the silence and shame around it.

Know Your Rights & Options

There are resources to help sextortion victims understand their rights:

• Without My Consent provides guides on laws in each U.S. state.
• Cyber Civil Rights Initiative has a 24/7 crisis helpline to discuss legal options.
• Contact victim services agencies for referrals for legal assistance.

Knowing your rights can give you power to take action against sextortion. Don’t assume there are no options – reach out for help.

Advocate for Change

Consider getting involved in advocacy around sextortion and online harassment:

• Join organizations like the CCRI fighting these crimes.
• Support legislation that protects victims and prosecutes offenders.
• Share your story (if comfortable) to put a human face on the issue.
• Educate people on how to avoid becoming victims and show support.

By speaking out against sextortion, you can help prevent others from being hurt and build support for change. Your experiences and insights are powerful.

Don’t Lose Hope

Recovering from sextortion takes time, but don’t lose hope. With each positive step, you are moving forward:

• Seeking help and support
• Prioritizing self-care
• Pursuing legal justice
• Removing online content
• Securing accounts
• Forgiving yourself

There will be good days and bad days. But you are strong – even when you don’t feel it. Keep reminding yourself of that.

You deserve to feel safe, empowered, and at peace again. That possibility still exists. Take it one day at a time, and know you don’t have to walk this road alone.