Domestic Violence Definition

Understanding Domestic Violence: Definition, Types, and Resources

Domestic violence—also called intimate partner violence—encompasses any abusive behavior used by one partner to gain and maintain power and control over the other partner in an intimate relationship. While we often associate domestic violence with physical abuse, it manifests in many forms including emotional, verbal, financial, digital, and sexual abuse.

Definition of Domestic Violence

At its core, domestic violence is a pattern of coercive tactics used by one partner intended to establish and maintain power and control over the other partner. These coercive tactics often escalate over time.
While a single act of violence may seem like an isolated event, domestic violence usually involves an ongoing pattern of manipulation, intimidation, isolation, and control. When we look at domestic violence through this lens—as a pattern rather than isolated incidents—we gain critical insight for change.

Common Types of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence encompasses different types of abuse used to manipulate, harm, punish, frighten, intimidate, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound an intimate partner. Forms of domestic violence include:

• Physical abuse: Hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, burning, strangling, whipping, paddling, etc.
• Sexual abuse: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent, marital rape, attacking sexual body parts, causing pain during sex, sexually demeaning the victim, etc.
• Emotional abuse: Undermining self-worth, gaslighting, name calling, mocking, isolating victim from friends/family, blackmailing, shaming, humiliation, intimidation, threats of abuse/harm, restricting access to finances, etc.
• Digital abuse: Monitoring online activity, cyberstalking, revenge porn, image-based sexual abuse, impersonation, harassment through tech, etc.
• Financial abuse: Withholding financial resources to exert control, limiting ability to work, accruing debt fraudulently, destroying property, restricting access to joint funds, etc.
• Verbal abuse: Degrading, blaming, insulting, name-calling, mocking, accusing, trivializing feelings/experiences, undermining accomplishments, etc.

While these categories help characterize types of domestic violence, the reality is often complex. Most abusive relationships involve different kinds of abuse that compound upon each other over time.

Defining Intimate Partner Relationships

Domestic violence occurs between intimate partners, meaning couples who are:

• Married, living together, or divorced
• Dating or having a sexual relationship
• LGBTQ+ couples
• Teen dating relationships

Domestic violence affects people of all genders, ages, races, religions, education levels, and socioeconomic backgrounds. While statistics show women experiencing higher rates of domestic violence, men also face significant abuse in intimate relationships.
Regardless of gender, age, or background, no one deserves to feel unsafe, coerced, or controlled in an intimate relationship.

Warning Signs and Red Flags

Domestic violence often escalates gradually over time. While every relationship is unique, common early warning signs of an abusive relationship include:

• Extreme jealousy, insecurity, or possessiveness
• Attempts to isolate you from friends and family
• Explosive outbursts or temper
• Mood swings, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality
• Frequently puts you down, criticizes you
• Controls finances, gives “allowance”
• Looks through your phone, checks mileage, texts
• Threats, intimidation, destruction of property
• Forces unwanted sex or is rough during sex
• Belittles your accomplishments
• Says abuse is your fault, denies obvious facts
• Stalking, monitoring your whereabouts

These early warning signs indicate that coercive control and emotional abuse may be present. While not inherently dangerous behaviors by themselves, they provide critical insight into the overall pattern of power and control occurring in the relationship.

When Does Domestic Violence Become a Crime?

Many behaviors involved in domestic violence may constitute criminal acts, including:

• Physical assault or battery
• Sexual assault or rape
• Kidnapping or false imprisonment
• Harassment, stalking, strangulation
• Violation of a restraining order

In addition, many states have specific domestic violence laws that criminalize various forms of abuse committed by a spouse, intimate partner, or family member.
Ultimately, any act that causes someone to feel unsafe constitutes unacceptable behavior. If you feel threatened, coerced, or afraid in your relationship, trust your instincts and know that support is available.

Impact and Consequences

Domestic violence has devastating impacts on health and well-being. Victims face high rates of bodily injury, chronic pain, disability, depression, anxiety, PTSD, homelessness, lost work and wages, and even homicide. Globally, 38% of all murders of women are committed by intimate partners.
Children raised in violent homes also suffer profound emotional, behavioral, social, and physical consequences with impacts lasting well into adulthood.
On societal and economic levels, IPV costs over $8 billion annually in the U.S. alone in lost productivity, healthcare expenses, criminal justice activities, and personal costs.

Breaking the Cycle of Violence

Domestic violence is often shrouded in secrecy and denial, with abusers deflecting blame and preventing victims from seeking help. Breaking free requires recognizing that abuse is unacceptable and that everyone deserves safe, healthy relationships grounded in trust, equality, and respect.
Leaving an abusive relationship can feel overwhelming but support is available. Reach out confidentially to domestic violence hotlines to develop a personalized safety plan for you and your children. Counselors help assess options related to emergency shelter, legal protections, child custody, or obtaining a restraining order.
Healing from domestic violence takes time but people can and do go on to rebuild safe, happy lives. With help from counselors, support groups, friends and family, victims can regain self-confidence, financial independence, and inner peace.

Finding Help and Support

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text LOVEIS to 22522. Highly trained advocates offer confidential crisis support 24/7 to help assess options and next steps.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline website also provides a wealth of information and resources related to types of abuse, risk assessment, safety planning, legal options, housing, counseling, and more.
In addition, the following organizations provide valuable legal information, guidance, referrals, and advocacy to assist victims of domestic violence:

• WomensLaw.org – Legal information and support for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault
• Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women – Federal resource for domestic violence initiatives, programs, and policy
• National Center for Victims of Crime – Advocacy, resources, and referrals for crime victims
• Child Welfare Information Gateway – Resources and reporting information regarding domestic violence and child abuse/neglect

Domestic violence thrives in silence. By shining a light on abusive behaviors and coercive control tactics, we help break cycles of violence—improving safety, health, and well-being for millions of adults and children. Reach out, speak out, and know that support is available.