do you have to be married for conjugal visit

Do You Have to Be Married to Get Conjugal Visits?

Conjugal visits—also known as intimate visits—allow prisoners to spend private time with a spouse or partner. But do you actually have to be married to qualify for these visits? Let’s break it down.

What Are Conjugal Visits?

A conjugal or intimate visit allows an inmate to spend anywhere from 1-72 hours in private with a spouse, partner, or other approved visitor. It usually takes place in a special room or trailer with a bed, and contact of a sexual nature is permitted.
The purpose is to preserve relationships and family bonds while a person is incarcerated. Conjugal visits are also believed to improve prisoner behavior since it gives them an incentive to stay out of trouble.

Conjugal Visit Policies Vary by State

Only a handful of states—like California, New York and Washington—allow conjugal or extended intimate visits for inmates. The rules differ in each one but inmates generally have to meet certain criteria, like:
Having good behavior with no recent infractions
Serving longer sentences (at least several years)
Going through an application process for visits
The visitor also has to get approved and there may be other stipulations—like requiring the couple be legally married.

Marriage Requirements

In New York, for example, you do have to be legally married to qualify for the Family Reunion Program, which allows conjugal visits. Unmarried partners and same-sex couples don’t make the cut, even if you’ve been together for years.
California has more relaxed “Family Visiting” rules. You still have to be in an established relationship prior to incarceration but marriage isn’t mandatory. They allow visits from legal spouses as well as registered domestic partners. Other “immediate family” may also qualify.

Benefits of Conjugal Visits

Allowing prisoners intimate contact does come with positives:

• Keeps families together and children connected to parents
• Lowers stress and depression for inmates
• Fewer disciplinary issues from prisoners
• Helps transition back into society upon release

A study found the recidivism rate was much lower for inmates allowed conjugal visits versus those denied them. Maintaining community and family ties is key to reducing repeat offenses.

Criticisms of Prison Conjugal Visits

Of course, many argue permitting these visits comes with downsides too:

• Possibility of sexual assault
• Health risks from contact with multiple partners
• “Rewards” bad behavior if allowed for violent criminals
• Privacy concerns—what about other inmates denied visits?

Some also believe it’s an unnecessary perk that uses up resources. Victims and their families may understandably take offense if, say, a murderer or rapist is allowed intimate visits as a “privilege.”

Conjugal Visits on the Decline

Prison conjugal visitation programs have declined dramatically since the days when all 50 states offered them. As of 2023, only 4 states still do: California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington. Two others run smaller pilot programs.
Why the big drop-off? In 1994 a federal law cut funding for inmate education, recreation, and visitation for any states that permitted conjugal/intimate visits. Facing tight budgets, many corrections systems had little choice but to end existing programs.
Prisons also face more lawsuits today over issues like prison rape and assault. Some decided allowing privately unsupervised visits resulted in increased legal liability.

Alternatives to Conjugal Visits

For inmates without conjugal visit privileges, there are some options to maintain intimacy:

• Extended family visits without privacy
• Special rooms with barriers/supervision
• Private “virtual” video visits
• More contact during regular visitation

While not the same as conjugal visits, it does allow inmates to preserve family bonds to some degree. Physical contact varies by facility but may include hugging, kissing, and holding hands.

Final Thoughts

Conjugal prison visits stir up controversy today as they have for decades. Supporters argue they reduce recidivism and keep families together. Critics counter that prison should not allow “rewards” for criminals.
As more states cut programs, legal marriage requirements make conjugal privileges all the more exclusive. Unmarried and same-sex couples tend to get excluded, even in longtime relationships.
For inmates without access to private visits, there are some alternatives to maintain intimacy. But these pale in comparison to conjugal visitation with unsupervised time alone with their spouse or partner.
The debate around conjugal visits will surely continue as U.S. prisons balance costs, liability risks and inmate family ties. Both sides make fair arguments around privacy, victims’ rights, legal equality and more. In the end, individual states have to decide where to draw the line.