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Child Custody Challenges Unique to Military Families

March 21, 2024 Uncategorized

Child Custody Challenges Unique to Military Families

When military parents get divorced, child custody issues can get real complicated, real fast. There’s a lot of unique challenges military families face when it comes to child custody that civilian families just don’t have to deal with.

For one thing, deployments. What happens when mom or dad gets deployed halfway across the world for months at a time? Who watches the kids? Who gets custody? It’s not always an easy thing to figure out.

Then there’s the moving. Military families move all the time — sometimes every couple years. If parents are divorced, who gets to take the kids when it’s time to move to a new duty station? Can the other parent stop them from moving the kids? It’s another tricky issue.

In this article, we’ll break down some of the most common child custody issues for military families and talk about how the courts deal with them.

Deployments

Deployments are a fact of life in the military. When mom or dad gets deployed, they can be gone for months or even over a year. So what happens with the kids when that happens?

Usually, if one parent is deployed, the other parent will keep custody of the kids during that time. Makes sense, right? The deployed parent isn’t there to take care of the kids, so the at-home parent has them.

Problems can arise though when it’s time for the deployed parent to come back. Let’s say mom was deployed for a year and dad had the kids. When mom comes back, can she automatically get joint custody again? Or does dad have to agree to change the custody order?

Every situation is different, but in general the courts will try to get things back to the original custody agreement as soon as it’s reasonable after the deployed parent returns. The deployed parent shouldn’t be penalized because they had to leave for military duty. The courts know that’s just part of being in the military.

Tips for Deployed Parents

  • If possible, modify your custody agreement before deploying to account for the deployment period.
  • Stay in touch with your kids as much as you can during deployment.
  • Document your efforts to stay connected in case custody issues arise later.
  • If the other parent tries to change custody during deployment, invoke your rights under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act to delay hearings until you return.

Relocations

Like deployments, moving to new duty stations is just an accepted part of military life. Often these moves can be across the country or even overseas. So what happens when parents share custody but one is getting transferred?

In the ideal situation, both parents would be flexible and agree on allowing the kids to move with the military parent to the new location. But if they can’t agree, it can mean going back to court.

In contested cases, the courts will look at what’s best for the kids while also trying to preserve both parents’ rights. Some factors they might consider are:

  • How involved both parents are in the children’s lives
  • If the non-military parent would be willing to relocate too
  • How the move would impact the kids’ schooling, relationships, etc.
  • If the military parent can request a deferment of the move

There are no easy answers, and both sides will have to compromise. The military parent may need to give up some custody time, while the non-military parent may need to facilitate long-distance visitation. With good communication, patience, and understanding, parents can make joint custody work across distances.

Tips for Relocating Parents

  • Give the other parent as much notice as possible about an upcoming move.
  • Be flexible and open to adjustments in the custody schedule.
  • Offer to cover costs of transportation for visitation.
  • Look into options to defer or swap reassignment if the other parent strongly objects.

Mobilization

Similar to deployments, mobilizations are when military personnel are called up to active duty, often with little notice. National Guard and Reserve members may maintain civilian jobs and custody arrangements, then have their routines disrupted when mobilized.

The courts recognize this challenge for military parents. Custody orders can’t be modified just because a parent gets mobilized. The mobilized parent is protected under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act. This allows them to delay or temporarily adjust custody hearings when necessary.

If the mobilized parent has to miss visitation time with the kids, they can file to have that time made up when they return. The courts work with parents to be as flexible as possible during mobilization periods.

Tips for Mobilized Parents

  • Have a family care plan in place for mobilization.
  • Inform the other parent and court of the mobilization as soon as possible.
    • Have a family care plan in place for mobilization.
    • Inform the other parent and court of the mobilization as soon as possible.
    • Request delays for custody hearings if needed under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act.
    • Ask the court to make up missed visitation time when demobilized.
    • Be open to adjustments in the custody schedule during mobilization.
    • Document efforts to stay connected with children during separation.
    • Get legal guidance about rights and responsibilities when mobilized.

    Special Needs Children

    When military parents of special needs children divorce, custody issues become even more complicated. The needs of the child must come first in these situations.

    Courts will look at which parent is better able to provide care for the child’s disabilities. This involves evaluating who has been the primary caregiver, who has more training to care for the child, and if the child has specific equipment or therapy needs. The custody schedule must accommodate the child’s needs[6].

    Parents should put their differences aside and focus on building a custody arrangement that supports the child. Being flexible and communicating about the child’s changing needs is key.

    Tips for Parents of Special Needs Kids

    • Be open to joint legal custody if possible
    • Consider your child’s daily care requirements
    • Research your child’s rights and available support services
    • Look into professional care coordination if needed

    Divorce is hard on any child, but especially so for special needs children who thrive on stability. With teamwork and compassion, military parents can reduce the disruption divorce causes.

    Related
    What is the process for requesting a delay in child custody proceedings?
    How can a parent inform the other parent and court of a mobilization?
    What are the legal implications of a parent’s mobilization on child custody arrangements?

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