Final Restraining Order Hearings (FRO)

Getting a Final Restraining Order (FRO)

So your abusive ex won’t leave you alone. I feel you. Let’s talk about how to get a final restraining order (FRO) against them in New Jersey.

First things first – what’s an FRO? It’s like a super-charged restraining order that provides long-term protection. Restraining orders are called “temporary” at first. But after a hearing, a judge can make it “final” and extend it for years.

To get there, you’ll need to file for a temporary restraining order (TRO) first. I’ll explain the step-by-step process, but let me warn you – it’s not easy. The courts don’t hand these out like candy on Halloween. You’ll need solid evidence of domestic violence or threats.

Filing for a TRO

Here’s how to get the ball rolling:

• Fill out the complaint forms. In New Jersey, it’s called a Complaint for Temporary Restraints. Describe in detail the facts of abuse or threats. Get it notarized.
• File it with the family court in your county. You can e-file or do it in person. There’s a small fee, but they’ll waive it if you’re low income.
• Ask for emergency relief. If you’re in immediate danger, check this box so a judge can grant the TRO right away before a hearing.

Once filed, the court will schedule a hearing within 10 days. This is where you’ll plead your case for why the restraining order should be made final.

Getting ready for the FRO hearing

These hearings can be intimidating. But knowledge is power, so here’s what to expect:

• The judge will hear testimony from both sides. You’ll tell your story of abuse under oath. Bring any evidence – texts, photos, medical records.
• Your abuser can cross-examine you. I know, it’s awful. But stay calm and stick to the facts. Their lawyer may try to trip you up, but keep your cool.
• You can have witnesses testify on your behalf. Friends, family, coworkers who saw bruises or knew about the abuse. Their testimony can bolster yours.
• Police officers often testify in FRO hearings too. If cops responded to any domestic disputes, their testimony is golden.
• Be prepared to answer tough questions. Why didn’t you report abuse earlier? Why stay in the relationship? Don’t get defensive – focus on the abuse itself.
• At the end, the judge will decide whether to grant the FRO. If so, it remains in effect indefinitely, unless the abuser successfully petitions to dissolve it.

What does a final restraining order do?

If granted, an FRO provides powerful protections. Your abuser will be prohibited from:

• Having any contact with you whatsoever – in person, by phone, email, social media, etc.
• Coming within a set distance of your home, workplace, or school. Often 500 feet or more.
• Possessing any firearms. They’ll have to surrender any guns to law enforcement.
• Stalking, following or harassing you in any way.

Of course, restraining orders are just pieces of paper. They don’t have magic force fields. But violations lead to criminal charges, like contempt of court. And you can call the police if they breach the order.

An FRO also gives you exclusive use of any shared residence. Your abuser will have to move out. And you may get temporary custody of kids or pets.

The burden of proof for an FRO

Here’s the tricky part – the burden of proof is on YOU to show you’re at risk of future harm. The judge won’t just take your word for it.

You’ll need to prove past acts of domestic violence or a pattern of abusive behavior. Ideally, you’ll have police reports, medical records, threatening texts, etc.

But what if the abuse was verbal or emotional? Or what if they seemed sincerely apologetic after past incidents? It can be challenging to prove an ongoing threat.

That’s why testimony from witnesses is so important. They can corroborate your experiences. Describe seeing bruises or changes in your personality.

Be prepared for your abuser to downplay past abuse. They may accuse you of exaggerating or even blame you. It’s maddening, but try to stay calm and stick to the facts.

What if the FRO is denied?

Don’t despair if the judge denies the FRO. It doesn’t mean they didn’t believe you. The burden of proof is just very high.

You can file again with additional evidence. Or appeal the decision. Talk to a lawyer about the best options.

Getting an FRO takes courage. But it sends a message that you won’t tolerate abuse anymore. And it provides that crucial layer of protection so you can move forward.

You got this. It’s time to break free.